An I wanna liquify
Everybody gone dry
Or plug into aerials
That poke up in the sky
Or burn down suburbs
With half closed eyes
You don’t succeed
If you don’t try
- Clash City Rockers
The Clash
7-7-77.
I was 17 and looking for a place to burn. Cause I was on fire. I was angry and didn’t know it. I had a mean streak. It had a skunk like quality to my meaness. I could stink up a room. I could make regular people upset, but my friends thought I was funny… or I thought they thought I was funny. I don’t know. Maybe we were all stuck together because we grew up together and we were stuck…
Stuck in the back of the refridgerator, in a tupperware container. Fuck. we were like spoiled food in the back of the refridgerator that you forget about, and then when you remember, you don’t want to deal with that rot. Yeah, we were rot. 17 year old rot in 1977. Stuck in our own stink.
We loved our rot. we loved our stink… Me, Bingo, Evil Eyes Pinky, the Gooseman, Joey Bonanza, and about fifty kids on the park in Flushing. Drinking rot gut. We ruled the streets at night. We put the plastic people back in their homes with the doors locked tight at night. We were ghouls running the wax museum and it was melting. If you looked through the windows of homes, we would see skeletial bones made of gelatin and everybody was wobbling when we were around. Hey, Gelatin… What’s shaking…
And we were around, every night except when we were celebrating New Year’s Eve. We celebrated New Year’s Eve every Friday night at Gooseman’s apartment. He was 17 and living on his own. Shit apartment off of Northern Boulevard in factory land in Flushing. We could make noise and we did. We put on party hats and forgot about going home.
The lights were dim and we were dimwits…
We were emerging…. We were using up a lot of juice and burning the sockets. You could hear the fritzing out of the socket. We were emerging from shit. We were a creation, not unlike Frankenstein’s monster. Someone had to pay, and you best get the fuck out of the way. Fire would be left on the road behind us.
Our Party hats were starting to look shabby. This was like our 26th New Year’s bash of the year. Vomit, grease, scum on our party hats… and oh yeah, we brought sand from the beach and covered Gooseman’s apartment in sand one night, so we could have a beach party. We used our hats to build sand castles. Confetti was all in the sand. The Guy Lombardo record was fucked too. Somebody used the record as a cutting board and there was cheese and a melted piece of pepperoni adhered to the record. It just would not come off. We played the record anyway.
Joey Bonanza would steal cases of champagne every Friday, and Bingo and I would shake the bottles up and pretend the Mets had just won the World Series. Pretend and make believe. You Gotta pretend and make believe. Everybody, had a bottle of their own except for Joey. As the eldest, he was 20, the Doctors already told him, his liver was only good with smothered onions. He’d been drinking since he was 12. So, Joey Bonanza was sitting on the sand, which covered a splintered floor. He sucked on M&M’s which were laced with Acid or something else.
“The M&M’s melting in your head and not your hands,” I said to Joey.
Four girls dragged Joey to a wall, and took off his cowboy hat. They began taping his long hair to the wall. It looked cool. Joey would eventually pay for his art.
Some new girl I never saw before held the tape dispenser and was giggling. She was a good six feet tall in her kick ass boots.
Wow. She had a paper clip dangling from her lower lip.
“You must be from the city,” I said.
“How can you tell?”
“The paper clip is very white collar. We’re all blue collar fools here.”
“Are you against the paper clip.?”
“Not by any means of the imagination,” I said. “When I say we’re blue collar here. I mean we have one foot in the grave. I might be able to use that paper clip to dig out of the grave.”
We talked. Her name was Slinky and she was… Slinky and Six foot solid. Cute little breasts. Model. Next year’s Model.
Gooseman prepared fried chicken in the hot apartment. He threw 100 wings into a garbage bag. then he cracked a dozen eggs and threw them into the garbage bag. He shook the bag. Then he opened up two containers of bread crumbs and tossed that into the bag. Again, he shook the bag. Then he opened up the oven and threw the contents into three metal tins which had oil smoking on it. It was not a pretty scene. Very blob like pouring out of the garbage bag. We all waited for dinner.
Bingo said, Do the abortion joke Squid.” I was known as Squid Liquid back then. Gooseman, named me Squid Liquid because he said I was hard to read sometimes. He said, I shot black ink in front of my face. He said I was like my dad the mob guy. You didn’t know what he was thinking and he didn’t know what I was thinking.
The girl Slinky had her arms folded and said, “Yeah, Squid do the Abortion joke.” She looked pissed.
“I don’t think you really want me to do the abortion joke,” I said to Slinky.
“What are you chicken?” Joey Bonanza said with his head of hair still taped to the wall.
The party started clucking in my direction. Then simutaneously they turned to me and asked,” Squid, how does a chicken have an abortion?”
I cracked an egg against my head. Everybody started hooting and hollering.
Slinky went out the door. I chased after her with egg on my face.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“What does what mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. What does that joke mean?”
“The point of my joke doesn’t mean anything. Chickens do not have abortions. They are just not allowed to hatch all their eggs. It’s a forced abortion issue.” I walked back into the house.
The chicken was ready. I grabbed a piece. Hot and good. I seperated the bones and watched the steam come off of the meat.
“Crack another egg on your head,” Joey Bonanza said. “I love when you crack an egg on your head. That’s so ballsy.”
“Hey Joey, why don’t you find Hoss and ride off to the Pondarosa.”
Joey tried to get up but his head was really taped to the wall. About twenty of us watched Joey try to get unattached from the wall himself. Three girls came over with shears. The only way Joey was going to remove himself from the wall was by cutting his hair. It was duct tape they used to pin him in the first place. They started to cut him down. Strands of long hair remained attached to the wall.
“I had this hair for six years, “Joey said and started crying. They cut him down and he looked at the circle of hair which remained on the wall.
After a minute of everybody staring at the hair attached to the wall Joey said,”Classic.” That hair would remain there for years.
All through our rituals, Evil Eyes Pinky was playing records. She was the one going into Manhattan to Bleeker Bob’s and picking up these Punk 45’s. She loved her glam too. She played Bang a Gong and she loved Cheap Trick. She played Surrender about every 15 minutes. The tall girl worked in Bleeker Bob’s even though he hated girls. I guess she had a look with that paper clip
“Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright,
they just seem a little weird,
Surrender, surrender
But don’t give yourself away.”
“Joey admiring his haircut in a mirror said, “Please stop singing and playing that song. You’re freaking me out.”
He walked over to the wall and touched his long hair. I could see he was considering reattaching his hair back to his head, “I need some air,” he said.
The M&M’s were getting to him. He stepped out.
Evil Eyes Pinky and the new girl Slinky were dancing around a pile of chicken bones on a sand bank.
Evil was cute in her rainbow icy mohawk. Her baby fat jiggled. Her big tits bounced up and down keeping the beat. Her big smile turning to grimaces as she kept dancing around the chicken bones. She had big puckered lips and she started braying like a horse. Running, jumping, arms akimbo, splitting legs, slipping on the sand.
Joey ran back into the apartment and made a dash for the record player in a frantic manner. Evil Eyes tackled Joey and they struggled for a moment and then started making out.
Evil Eyes Pinky gave Joey the hairy eyeball.
“No, no, don’t give me the hairy eyeball. I love Cheap Trick but mostly I love you.”
They continued to roll on the sand and on the chicken wings and continued to make out.
Slinky walked over to me,”This is a fun party. Evil Eyes is a funny girl.”
“New Year’s is always fun,” I said.”Evil Eyes is one of my best friends. We’ve known each other since we were kids.”
Other couples were fooling around.
“Let’s get out of here,” Slinky said.
“Let’s,” I said.
She grabbed my hand as we walked out the door. Bingo came running after us, “Hey, where are you guys going?”
“We’re going for a walk.”
“Good, I’ll come with. Let’s walk over to Shea?”
“I don’t want to go to Shea, I said. I tried to think of a way to shoo Bingo away but with no luck. Fuck it. He can come for the walk, “O.K. let’s take her to Shea,” I said.
“Bingo,” Bingo said. He was such a happy Puerto Rican punk.
What’s Shea? A Punk club.”
“Definately,” I said. Me and Bingo laughed.
Shea was where the Mets played and it was only a half a mile from Gooseman’s apartment. It was in Flushing Meadow Park, right behind The Queens Botanical Gardens. We hopped the metal fence and smelled the flowers. Bingo had a little flashlight with him. He always carried one, just in case there was a black out.
“Evil Eyes tells me you’re a Jewboy.”
“He’s a crazy Jewboy,” Bingo said. “Alot of punks are Jewboys. The Ramones are Jews. They’re from over there. He pointed to Forest Hills and Rego Park. The Dictators are from over there. He pointed North to the Bronx.”
“Shut-up Bingo. The girl didn’t say there was anything wrong with me being Jewish. Did you?” I asked.
“No, I’m a Mid-Western Jew girl. I’m starting Columbia in the Fall.”
“You’re going to Central America.” Bingo started talking very fast in Spanish to her.
“I think she meant the University, you dope.”
I wanted to cry. I don’t know why. I said,” I just want to learn how to be,” I mumbled. I really didn’t know why I felt vulnerable with this Amazon from the cornfields or where ever she was from. Suddenly, I was glad Bingo was with us.
We walked to a park bench with a lot of kids on it. They were listening to Devo on a cassette player by the big sculpture of the globe in the old World’s Fair Park. They were smoking weed and were surrounding another kid. Bingo who is only a little bigger than five foot 4 inchesand he tried jumping to see what was happeningover the crowd. When, I saw who it was that had a steak on her eye, I cut through the kids.
“What happened to you,” I said to Savage.
“She took off the steak which was on her eye, either to see who was talking to her or to show me her black eye.”
“Come on ,” I said. You’re not going back to that house till I talk to that cocksucker.
“Where are you taking me.”
“It’s New Year’s at Gooseman’s”
“Oh, fuck. I forgot it was Friday.”
Savage was one of my best friends. Her dad died when she was 8. Then her mom remarried. Then her mom died when she was 15. Now, her step dad didn’t like the way she was dressing and didn’t like the music she liked and my father’s mob blood was boiling in me. I was going to do something sick. I had to think. “Stay calm. You can straighten him out. You don’t have to ask your dad for a favor. You can do this yourself.”
Fuck if I knew what to do but no one was going to hit Savage. My sweet friend was not going to feel unsafe in her own home. Not that I felt safe in my own home but at least my asshole dad never hit me. He let me get hurt. He could have prevented things from happening. He let me get beat up on occassions but he never hit me.
I dropped Savage at Gooseman’s. The party was winding down. I had a plan. Savage’s dad was a cop and he would have a gun in his home but I didn’t give a shit. I was too young to give a shit. Sweet Lucy was hit by a monster. She had no mommy, she had no daddy. She had this monster in her home. Her home. Fucked families for miles around. Fuck. So many sad miserable people, mistreating their kids. Broken down. Broken. Broke… Fucked.
Who the fuck did I think I was?.. Sweet little Lucy with a black eye and her dead mom with a black eye. Fucker had to pay and he was a cop. Could have gotten my crooked mobbed up dad to do something. Then I’ll owe him something. I can angle this. I grew up with that madman. I got it
“Joey, you got your sledgehammer in the back of your pick-up?”
“Where else would it be?”
“You got your ski mask?”
“Where else would it be?”
“Let’s go.
“Go. I can’t go anywhere. I’m high man. I feel like a midget going up the assshole of the Jolly Green Giant.”
“You’re driving. Let’s go.”
“I can’t drive. I’m really high. I’m looking for undigested peas up the Jolly Green Giant’s ass. I need snacks.”
“I’ll drive,” Slinky said.
“You’re not involved.” I said.
“Not yet,” she said.
As we were leaving Bingo said,”You want me to come.?”
I could see he was nervous. Nah, stay here with Savage and keep her company.
“Bingo,” Bingo said.
“Here we are, come to a sudden screeching stop. I got out of the pickup and made alot of noise. The sun was coming up. New Year’s was ending. I got the sledgehammer and limped to the fuckers car. I don’t know what kind it was. Nothing new or valuable. I smashed the front window of the car out with the sledgehammer. The lights to his bedroom went on. I saw him looking at me with my ski mask on. He pointed the barrel of the gun at me.
“Do you know me?” I asked. “Do you want to see my face?” I smashed another window of the car out. Do you really want to see my face! Think about it buddy.” I knocked out a headlight. Am I here by myself. I smashed the rear window out.
“I don’t want to do this but I was hired to do this. If you want to see my face let me know.”
I pretended to take off my mask. I saw the cop lower his gun and then shut off the lights.
“Leave Lucy alone. Sell the house and give her half the money. I don’t want to come back.”
I turned around and limped back to the pick-up very slowly. I threw the sledgehammer in the back.
“Drive away very slowly,” I said to Slinky.
“Yes sir. Where’d you learn that.”
“I’m fourth generation Jewish Mob on my father’s side. I know things, I don’t even want to know.”
We got to Gooseman’s and they broiled the steak that was on Savage’s eye.
“You can go back home today. Your asshole step- dad will never bother you again. I’m pretty sure. He’s going to sell the house and give you half the money.
Savage gave me a hug, “You want a piece of steak?”
“Wasn’t that in your freezer since you were a kid. Didn’t you mom defrost that over her black eyes and then refreeze that. Isn’t that like ten years old of freezing and then refreezing?
“Maybe,” Savage said.
“Fuck,” Bingo said as he swallowed a piece of steak with ketchup on it.
The End
Slinky and I dated for three months. I still talk to her. Nobody died from the steak. Bingo threw up just in case.
